Maren’s Morning Miracle

Well, as part of a plan to be more positive this year, I read this book called the Morning Miracle, by Hal Elrod, which is about getting up extraordinarily early and doing a variety of  life-improving what-have-you’s. And, after thinking about it for approximately zero seconds, decided that I would give it a shot. I mean, who’s against miracles? Not me, my friend!

 The premise of the book is that really successful people, like, oh, I don’t know, Matt Lauer (he is so great!) for example, get up at the butt-crack of dawn, doing stuff and things, thereby becoming even more successful. The guy that wrote the book is pretty young, and rich, and HE gets up every morning and does this stuff, he calls them Life S.A.V.E.R.S. So, I found myself thinking, well, why not? Makes sense, right?

Before the Morning Miracle, my morning routine consisted of me reluctantly rolling out of bed about 10 minutes before the first daycare kid arrived, and cramming myself into pants, thus rendering me basically prepared to open the door and let in 16 kids. I’m not the best morning getter-upper. With this in mind, I decided to begin the Miracle by waking up just a few minutes earlier. By ‘a few’ I mean 30. I figured I could manage a half hour.

The first thing the Morning Miracle suggests is the drinking of an amount of water to rehydrate one’s body after a long dehydrating night.

Hmm.                                    You all know how I feel about water: diet pepsi can So, I was skeptical, but I am the kind of person who likes to try new things, so I figured, what the heck? If getting up early doesn’t kill me, water probably won’t. In the likely event I might forget to drink any water, I placed a plastic cup on the bathroom counter as a visual reminder. This would prove to be a bad idea.

The first morning, the alarm rings loudly, enthusiastically, and far away from me (to prevent any ‘snoozing’, also suggested by Mr. Morning Miracle) at 6:30am. I jump up, ready to experience the Miracle of early rising. I march determinedly into the bathroom to drink water and shower. I fill the cup with cold water from the tap. I begin drinking the water. I pause for a moment. The water tastes odd, even for water.

It. Tastes. Like. SOAP.

I’ve just drunk SOAP!!

you-drank-soap

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, that is not all right.

So, it’s 6:35 am. I’m up. I’ve drunk soap. Awesome. You’d probably like me to keep what happened next to myself. You’re in luck. I have no wish to share that on the internet. Let’s just say:

NOT GOOD.

So then, I showered. I observed a moment of silence in the shower to say goodbye to my dignity.

Affirmations is next on the Miracle list.

Let me think…..

Here’s one:

DRINK WATER, NOT SOAP!

All I can figure is that my 8-year-old son must have been playing with this cup in the bathroom and he does love bubbles and washing his hands.

Next up, visualization, exercise, reading, and writing.

To tell you the truth, after the soap, what I did was:

1. Brush my teeth. and

2. try not to think about the soap.

Here’s where you would think I gave up. I can assure you that I did

no such thing.

I got up the next morning and had water out of an unopened water bottle from Costco. No soap. Then, I meditated (cannot recommend this enough), read, affirmed and visualized. I did not make it to exercise or writing, because it was only 6:30 am and the first daycare kids come at 7am and frankly, one half hour is not enough time to not drink soap, shower, dress, read, affirm, visualize, meditate, and exercise and write.

The next week, I got up at 6:15, the week after that, 6:00am, which turned out to be a terrible time to wake up in this house since that’s when a couple of other people here wake up and showering becomes a hot water war.

The next week, I set my alarm for 5:50am, which is breaking life rule #3 for me:

NEVER GET UP AT A TIME THAT STARTS WITH 5AM.

Which, is sort of a miracle for me, as those who know me best can attest, but not the exact miracle I am looking for here. Fast forward to this morning, when the alarm rang at 5:40am, I moved smoothly and without incident through my new Miracle Morning routine, and am blogging about it here for you today.

Now, I’m waiting for the Miracle.

I’ll take it as $5000, please, so I can go to Hawaii.

I think $5000 is a small price to pay, for drinking soap and staying the course, don’t you?

Go big or Go home!

Thank you in advance.

p.s. It’s not a bad book, by the way, The Morning Miracle. Hal is a little exuberant for someone who gets up so freaking early, but I admire a person who is passionate about what they’re doing. I bought mine as a kindle book. It was good. I liked this guy.

 

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