Yes. It’s My Birthday

I’m 44 this year. I know many of you are older, and I would love for that to actually cheer me up, but so far, no dice.

It’s not that I’m depressed exactly….

It’s just that my daughter is turning 18 this year, and let’s face it,

44 is NOT 18.

Things I miss about being 18:

1. Sleeping in. I haven’t slept in since Alex was born. Even when there’s the remote possibility of sleeping in, I get woken up by inane trivialities like needing to pee and then my mind starts in on all the stuff that needs to get done and then, I’m up.

2. Looking good in clothes. I mean, I know I look fine, but at 18, I could go into many clothing stores and look very good in many things. Today, I’m forced to buy things that fit fat ‘pears’.

3. The future. There’s something about having your whole life ahead of you that kids who are 18 do NOT appreciate. Remember the stress? My own daughter is freaking out about all the choices! She just cannot get how fabulous it is to have all that ahead of you. At 44, I’ve made my bed. Now I’m lying in it, shopping on the internet for comforters, and sheets that will stay on the freaking corners of the darned mattress.

4. The Money. All the money I made was all mine and I could spend it all on Big Macs and Chocolate Shakes without repercussion. If I ran out, I just ate my parents food and stayed home. We all know how that is different now.  A huge percentage of my money, like 98%, goes to feeding, clothing, cleaning, educating. entertaining, transporting, housing, and in all other ways maintaining the lifestyle to which my children have become accustomed. Which is being dressed and fed. Go figure. The last 2% I totally waste on nails and shoes.

To be fair, I guess I should look at the other side.

Things that are great about 44. I mean, there’s something, I suppose:

1. Birthday presents. I buy whatever I want for my birthday. No waiting for my parents to give me something they wish I wanted which is nothing like the thing I asked for, but now I’m stuck with it.

2. My kids. I adore them.

3. B. I sort of like him too. I mean, the man gave up his garage to build me the best room ever!

4. My friends. They support me, love me and have my back at every turn. I so rely on my friends.

5. My relationships with my siblings. As a child, I naturally assumed my parents only had the other 5 kids to drive me crazy, and ruin my life, but now I see that I have wonderful friends, and a family who is there for me through anything.

So, there you have it. Even though 18 is thinner, healthier and less responsible than 44, I guess I’ll take it. I suppose the alternative is death…..

Thanks for letting me vent:)



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One Response to Yes. It’s My Birthday

  1. Melody says:

    Happy Birthday!!! 44 will be awesome!

    Plus, at 18 we were still worried about the body image thing. We cared who liked us. We needed to know what was in style so that we could buy it & wear it.

    We have found Brene Brown and are busting our shame! We are able to be ourselves and know that our friends will love us for ourselves.

    44 is pretty terrific, actually 🙂

    Plus, you will be amazing at any age!!!!

    Love you, friend!

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